


Never Underestimate The Power Of Making A Small Mistake

by Sweetysweetssugarytreats



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Drama...tic, Hints of TakaZura because of course they can't miss, I don't know how to tag this, M/M, Sougo is a Hippie, Unexpected... I guess?, Zaki makes an appearance, humor?, i seriously have no idea, please don't read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 10:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19462540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetysweetssugarytreats/pseuds/Sweetysweetssugarytreats
Summary: Out of nowhere Toshiro receives a letter in his locker. But, contrary to every movie ever, that is not a love letter… it’s a hate letter. Unfortunately for him he soon discovers that a confrontation with the student who wrote the letter would be impossible because...…how can he apologize to someone who is not here anymore?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching my favorite tv show today and it gave me this idea so I decided to write about it.
> 
> Disclaimer: The original idea doesn't belong to me - I just messed with the plot a little and changed it how I wanted to - because I'm not smart or creative or even insane enough (just a little) to come up with something like this.
> 
> And this is also very stupid because the heat has been getting to me the past few days.

"What do you mean you don't know where your locker is?"

"I told you, after the incident with the whipping cream and glue-" Toshiro is not going to mention the 'prank' Sougo had orchestrated, he is too kind to let his best friend know of who the little devil who hangs around them really is. "-they gave me another locker, but never told me where it was. And after a while I just forgot about it."

Isao gives him a surprised look. "Alright, first of all, how can you forget about your locker? And secondly, you have been carrying your books around-"

"Just like a loser." Sougo interrupts with his imput.

"-all this time?"

Toshiro takes a moment to say what has now become his catchphrase to the slightly younger boy. "Shut up Sougo." And continues. "It's not that big of a deal. Our books don't weigh as much as you guys make them out to be and it's only been a month anyway since they gave me the new locker."

"See you later." Sougo suddenly pipes up.

"Sougo, where are you going?"

"Somewhere." He whispers cryptically, going in the opposite direction of their next class.

"Are you planning to skip class again? Sougo, how are you going to learn something if all you do is skip, sleep and eat in class?" Isao reprimands him with a disappointed look, hands on his hips and narrowed eyes, looking for all the world like a mother nagging at her child.

Sougo stops in his tracks and looks at them with a strangely intense expression. "The day this school teaches me something… is the day I die." And disappears in the mass of students, letting his two best friends stare at the vacant space he had been in just a few seconds earlier.

"He really doesn't like studying." Toshiro comments after a while of silence.

"Plus he's been hanging out with that new friend of his. I think his name's Shinsuke or something like that?"

"Oh, that explains a lot." Toshiro mutters to himself. "…He's going to be an even greater menace for my health in the future."

Isao looks at him strangely. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, let's go and find your new locker then!" The Gor- er, boy exclaims in excitement.

"How?"

"By going to the office registration and asking about it."

Toshiro sighs as he begins walking to their next class. "Fine, but let's do it later."

* * *

"I've rarely been to this part of the school." Isao muses once they are out of class, they have crossed the opposite hallway to where his and Sougo's lockers are and where Toshiro's old one used to be.

"Me too." Toshiro seems as serious and unenthusiastic as always as they mess around with the combination.

"I've already been here." Sougo mutters instead. Isao doesn't think anything of it while Toshiro overthinks what Sougo could possibly do here.

When they opens his new locker after a bit of struggle, however, something unexpected happens.

A small piece of paper comes tumbling down on the floor, catching their attention.

"Oooh, look what we have here." Isao sing-songs as he bends to pick it up and holds it in his hand like a trophy of sorts.

"What?" Toshiro asks, both confused and curious.

"Toshi, brace yourself because you are about to receive the shock of a lifetime!" Isao clears his throat and gives a nod of his head towards Sougo. "Drum rolls, please."

Sougo sighs and raises his head towards the ceiling in exasperation. "Do I really have to do it?"

"C'mon, Zaki is unavailable today."

"Why?"

"He has chickenpox."

Sougo and Toshiro grimace in sympathy.

* * *

Somewhere in a dark room with the blinds drawn shut and a almost the rhythmic beat of a coughing fit, a lump on the bed wiggles around.

And this lump is none other than Yamazaki.

The boy shuffles in place, until his head out of the duvet and he smiles to himself, even if it looks more of a frown.

"A-At least they mentioned me… I am… relevant."

* * *

"Let's not think about Zaki for the rest of the day so we won't be sad about him not being here." Toshiro concludes, thinking that is definitely the better option to take.

The other two nod in agreement.

* * *

The lump in the bed throws the covers aside to wail his disappointment at such an injustice.

"S-Screw you guys! Why are you always so mean to me?!"

* * *

Back to the main characters-

"I am a main character too!"

Zaki's voice gets gradually fainter in this next scene, until the readers forget about him completely… and now we can really go back to the main characters!

But Isao's face, cheerful about the prospect of his best friend having a secret admirer, falls quickly after scanning the letter. His hand slowly lowers too, until he is frowning down at the words. "This is…"

Toshiro takes the piece of paper from Isao's hands and reads for himself, also frowning.

"…a hate letter?" He finishes the sentence, looking at the written words in bewilderment.

There is a puzzling moment of silence, that Sougo interrupts.

"Finally. Things are getting interesting around here!" The younger boy exclaims in a burst of enthusiasm and what could only be delight showing on his face.

Toshiro scoffs. "Shut up Sougo and stop having random outbursts of excitement. You sound like a hipster."

Sougo gasps quietly, framing his face with his hands and staring with his mouth hanging open in an exaggerated way, as if he just discovered the meaning of life.

"Does that make you mad? Because if it does I swear I will convert myself to the brotherhood of hipsterhood right this second."

"Stop making up those names. You think it makes you look cool or something?"

"Tell that to the new ten members of my crew." The boy mutters as he fumbles with his phone.

Toshiro blinks a few times. "He just… he just made it up? How can he already have-… how?" He thinks out loud.

"He is very good at convincing people." Isao answers anyway. "Last week he told me to hide in Tae's room so when she came back from school I would surprise her. After he said that it was like I just opened my eyes and… oh boy, I was already there."

Toshiro frowns and sends a weirded out glance to Sougo.

The boy shakes his head, a little disappointed and a little disgusted. "I didn't convince you to do anything. You are the one who talked out loud to yourself and decided to do it. I warned you, but you didn't listen and ended up with a black eye anyway."

Isao rubs the back of his head as he laughs, discarding the matter as if it's not important at all. "Well, who can really tell what happens in this mad and crazy world ahah! Am I right?"

Sougo deadpans. "Yeah, that's not going to hold in court."

Toshiro rolls his eyes, but for once he doesn't feel like telling Sougo to shut up or try and defend Isao's obtuse reasoning, instead his attention is focused on the letter solely.

"Why don't you read it?" He hears Sougo asking and he doesn't think he really has anything to hide, so proceeds to do just that.

_"Dear Toshiro, this will probably come as a shock to someone who thinks he is 'all that'. But guess what? You are not. You are not God's gift to the world. You're not even Soda's new delicious lemon taste-"_

"The lemon taste is so good." Sougo says to himself, eyeing his best friend victim? with distaste. "Whoever wrote this letter is right, you could never aspire to be that level of greatness."

"Shut up." Toshiro mutters, continuing to read.

_"You wouldn't be able to see what the secret of life is even if it was put right under your nose because you don't care about anyone else except for yourself. Even if someone was to dig deep inside you they would only come up with dirty and empty hands, and you know why? Because there is nothing worth discovering in the end. Stop trying to fool people and just admit you are an inconsiderate asshole."_

There is a beat of silence that passes between the three best friends.

"…Damn." Sougo nods appreciatively. "Who wrote this?"

Toshiro wants to insult him, but he finds himself searching for a name before the brat even mentions it. "At the end of the letter it only says… Kia."

"Who is Kia?"

He shrugs. "I have no idea."

"That's… harsh." Isao seems saddened by the thought of someone thinking these mean things about his best friend.

"Wow, someone who hates you enough to let you know in a hate letter of all things and you don't even know who this person is?" Sougo's monotonous, almost robotic voice suddenly lowers in pitch and in a quick motion he grabs Toshiro's collar and glares up at him. "You should leave this country for such a deplorable action. Shame on you!"

Toshiro stares blankly. "…What are you doing?"

"I saw a movie the other night, I was trying to reenact it." Sougo explains, going back to his emotionless self as he lets go of him and pats his shoulder.

Toshiro sighs, giving up on him.

"That is what we have to do!" Isao throws a fist in the air in determination.

The other two exchange a look. "…Leave the country in shame?"

"No, you guys, we have to find this Kia!" Isao seems to be fired up at the prospect.

"First of all, is it a boy or a girl? Because you shouldn't assume just from a name." Sougo reads the name over and over and tries to think about it.

Isao opens his mouth to answer. "A bo…irl?" And closes it.

"What's that?"

He looks around himself hoping to find the answer. He doesn't. He shrugs. "...A mix of both?"

Toshiro and Sougo decide to ignore him for the moment.

"Tch. They could have written something about wanting you dead." The younger mumbles almost disappointed.

"Shut your trap."

"Or what? You're going to stop my little hippie yiay heart from yearning?"

"The fuck are you on?" Toshiro frowns at him. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

Sougo pretends to look offended. "Oh, I'm sorry the hippie culture is such a taboo for _you_."

"Being hippie is _not_ a culture!"

One guy with sunglasses and an afro passes them by.

Sougo makes the peace sign and nods at him. "Hey, brother."

"Respect bro." The boy greets back, pounding a fist to his chest.

"Shut up both of you!"

* * *

"This should be it."

Toshiro stops in front of a locker, checking the number on the file in his hand just to make sure he got the right locker, and it seems so.

But now that they are here… somehow they don't really know what to do.

A student walks by them, stopping a short distance away to put in his books. Toshiro and Isao unconsciously stare at him, until the student frowns and looks in their direction.

"What? There's something on my face?"

That snaps them out of whatever thoughts they found themselves in during the past minutes.

"Ah, no, we were just wondering if you know the person this locker belongs to? A certain… Kia?" Isao asks with a friendly smile, hopeful.

Toshiro narrows his eyes in concentration. He feels like he knows who this guy is. The more he looks at his silver-y curls the more he thinks he knows the answer, until he realizes he is right. This was one of the guys he had a class with during the first semester. His name is… Gintoki?

…And his hair is nice.

Toshiro's eyes widen in shock at his own thoughts and he prevents himself from suddenly banging his head on the nearest locker.

Gintoki eyes the two with a sliver of confusion. "Why do you want to know?"

"I… did something wrong. I came here to apologize." He is the one to explain this time, only hesitating a little. But, whatever, it's not like he cares what the guy he shared one class with at the beginning of the year thinks of him. And it doesn't even matter how nice his hair looks… no.

At his answer, though, Gintoki seems to be grimacing in almost the same way he and Sougo did when they found out about someone they know having chickenpox… but they can't remember who since they have already forgotten about this person.

* * *

"Hey! Not fair! Stop ignoring me!"

* * *

Gintoki closes his locker with a quiet _click_ and walks towards them, looking almost… sad for some reason?

"If that's the case then…. I have good news and bad news."

Toshiro's curiousity pushes him to ask first. "What's the good news?" He asks curiously.

Gintoki nods in their direction. "Her locker is definitely that one."

"Oh, so it's a girl!" Isao cheers. "And we found her!"

"And the bad news?"

"…She's not here anymore."

Isao pouts. "Well, I guess we didn't find her after all."

Toshiro frowns at the answer. "Where is she?"

The boy looks at them strangely, almost sympathetically. "She is in a better place now."

"She got transferred to a new school? Lucky! Not to take anything away from our school… but it sucks."

"No." Gintoki answers him, though it looks like he agrees with what Isao said. But he shakes his head and his gaze softens. "…She's dead."

Isao gapes in shock and Toshiro almost takes a step back at the abrupt news. "…What?"

"She died a few weeks ago."

Toshiro doesn't know this girl, he doesn't know what he did wrong and why it was so bad she even wrote him a letter about it. But that doesn't stop him from feeling the ground missing from his feet.

There is some commotion coming from down the hallway and Gintoki's face morphs from understanding to an almost excited one. "Hey, sorry to drop this on you and run, but this guy named Sougo is shooting a commercial about his hippie lifestyle right now in the cafeteria and I've got to see this." He raises a hand in a half-hearted wave and follows all the other students.

Isao is practically shaking beside him with how much he wants to join them, but he is not moving an inch because he doesn't want to leave his best friend alone.

Toshiro sighs and points in the direction where Sougo probably is. "You can go if you want."

"Thanks Toshi! You're the best!" He gives him a quick and tight bear hug and sprints away too.

He shakes his head fondly as he sees Isao narrowly miss a few collisions with all the other students. But then his face slowly falls and he is left staring at the dark grey locker as an unfamiliar sense of emptiness takes over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was getting a little long so instead of a one-shot I made it a three-shot, but I'm going to update this in a few hours anyway and get it done today.
> 
> Whatever you're thinking about stop it, because that's not what's going to happen here. And remember to lower your expectations because this didn't require effort or seriousness on my part… this is just weird.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the second part

With nothing left to do except staring at the empty locker of a girl he doesn't even know, or he can't get to know anymore, Toshiro decides that it's better to find a distraction. It's almost lunch anyway so he decides to go to the cafeteria and find out what Sougo is trying to do.

And he regrets it almost immediately.

First of all, Sougo is standing on one of the tables and all the students are practically forming a circle around him as if he is a celebrity or something. And second, he keeps saying things to the crowd in this quiet voice, talking as slow as one can and it's really irritating… so why do people like it so much?

"Sougo I love you!" One girl screams out of the blue.

"Marry me!" Another one yells.

Sougo chuckles and strokes his chin, pretending he has an invisible beard. "In such a vast and ever-changing universe I don't believe in souls having to be tied down to express their connection. Love is love bros, no matter what… it's love. And that's why… I love you all."

The crowd awes.

"Fuckin' idiot."

Except for Toshiro, of course.

Either Sougo has brainwashed everyone, or his peers are just too stupid and worship someone who could definitely pass up as the devil. Either way, Toshiro quickly gets fed up and decides to leave Sougo to his… weird adolescent phase and just find a place to be alone for a while. And where do all these cameras even come from!?

* * *

After seeing with his own eyes the… _creativity_ that Sougo has put into… well, he doesn't have a name for it, just this t _hing_ Sougo seems eager on putting his energy into, Isao is intent on finding his other best friend. And after searching around the whole school, he concludes there is only one place Toshiro would go during lunch.

The teacher's lounge. It is actually the unused teacher's lounge, they deserted it for a newer and more spacious one, and it has now become more of storage room than anything. As expected, Isao finds Toshiro laying on one of the couches there with an arm thrown over his eyes, but he is not sleeping.

He makes sure his footsteps sound just a little heavier, even if Toshiro knows that at this time of the day the only other people who would come here are either him or Sougo since this is practically their secret hiding place. They even have the keys to it thanks to Sougo, and no teacher really bothers coming here anymore.

Isao takes a seat on the armrest of the couch, waiting to see if his best friend was going to be the one to say something first. When he doesn't he is the one to break the silence.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm lying on school's furniture and I can't stop thinking about a dead girl I have apparently done something wrong to. So… no, I am not okay." Toshiro moves his arm away and sits up, dragging both hands down his face and staring at a fixed spot on the floor as he tries to collect his thoughts.

Isao now takes a seat next to him, glancing at his best friend from the corner of his eyes. "You're a good person."

Toshiro snorts without humor. "The situation I am currently in does not exactly depict me as the best example of our ever-growing and evolving mankind now does it?!"

Isao looks to his left, to his right, then stares at his best friend straight in the eyes. "…What?"

Toshiro combs his hair out of his eyes and lets out a long exhale. "Sorry, Sougo is stressing me out. He keeps sending me a bunch of videos about hippies." He frowns in reminiscence of a few in particular. "And since when do hippies have their own quotes too?"

"Ooooh, so that's what it is." Isao crosses his arms and nods to himself. "I thought he wanted to start studying philosophy or live in a cardboard box. And hey, you have to admit some of those quotes are very inspirational."

Toshiro sends him a flat look. "Not you too."

Isao holds his arms up in surrender. "I'm just saying."

He sighs and shakes his head, thinking about a way to… he is not sure what to even think about anymore. "I… I don't even know what I did wrong!"

"Are you sure?"

He almost glares at his best friend. "What kind of question is _that_."

"Well, maybe you do know what you did wrong." Isao tries to reason with him. "From the letter it seems like you might have come across as… inconsiderate?" It's clear that he doesn't think that is the truth, but he thinks that is the truth this girl felt when she wrote him the letter.

Toshiro stops for a moment and thinks about it. Almost in a rush he takes the letter out of his pocket. The first time he read it he felt confusion mixed with a hint of frustration because of the untrue and even slightly hurtful things he read, but now it's almost as if the disappointment inside those written words carries over him, settling just under his skin, and it's frustrating for a whole different reason.

"…Yeah, apparently so." He says fair more quiet this time, and resigned. "But…I don't even know what to do about it. I mean, I can't even apologize for something I don't remember doing. I can't even apologize at all since…"

Isao nudges their shoulders together. "An apology is not just saying sorry to someone. It also means admitting your mistake and being able to move forward from there."

Toshiro can't help but give a small smile. Isao is always there when he needs him, be it with his support, his wise words or his idiotic antics.

Isao smiles back. "And if you want to there is still a way to apologize."

* * *

"Sorry for being late, I was held back by the undying love of my new and chill fam." Sougo declares once he meets them at the lockers, looking like the crossroad of a rapper and a homeless man with what he is wearing, and for some reason he has sunglasses indoors.

Toshiro is about to ask, but he sees the brat holding something in his hand. "What's that?"

"Hm?" Sougo looks down too, then holds up an iPad and shows them what's on it. "Oh, this. It's my new commercial. I called it 'Who's your bro?'" He takes a moment to stare into distance intensely, as if he just said something brilliant. Then breaks character and looks as cheerful as… Sougo can be, which is generally his emotionless face. "We hippies are very caring towards our brothers of different mothers."

Isao nods like he understands.

Toshiro rolls his eyes. So this is what all those cameras were for.

"Stop trying to create a frat here." He mutters in annoyance. "We're seniors in high school, not in college."

"College sucks. Why put all your hard-earned money in what will eventually become a waste of your life." The younger boy states in defiance.

"…Why do I even bother with you?"

But contrary to Toshiro, Isao looks very worried for him. "Sougo… please don't say that. Your education is very important!"

Sougo shakes his head as if he has figured the meaning of life and proceeds to point at his own head. "What is important is not what we have here." Then splays his hand over his heart. "But what we have… _here_."

Isao gasps with tears in his eyes. "…You just opened my mind to endless possibilities."

Sougo tilts his head in what seems to be contemplation, but it's probably stupidity running through his head. At least this is how Toshiro sees it.

"I don't like your name, it's a just another weight that holds you down and chains you to this material world. I will change it." The boy takes a moment to think, even closing his eyes and making some weird humming noises with his mouth. Until he snaps his fingers and eyes open. "Your new name will be… Isa-K."

"I…" Isao is the one to put a hand over his heart this time. "…I love it!"

Toshiro rolls his eyes again and leaves.

"Yo, T- Zone. Stay trippin'."

He sneers at the brat. "What? That's my new name now?"

"It was either this or Tanya." Sougo shrugs, uncaring. "Choose whatever you think suits you the most."

"Just fuck off already. Please fuck off."

"There is someone here who doesn't seem to enjoy our companionship. Your vibe is all wrong, bro."

"Shut your mouth before I call the cops on you."

"You think I'm scared of them? Huh? You think _myself_ 'd be scared of _those?"_ Sougo raises his chin and pounds his fists into his chest and… even the way he talks… everything is just so _stupid_. He can't deal with it right now.

"Just shut up. Do the world a favor and keep your mouth glued."

It's late afternoon now, the sky outside is turning from a pale orange to a light blue. It was Isao's idea to wait for the lessons of the day to be over so no one would really be around. Toshiro tightens his grip on the bouquet of flowers. Bringing flowers to apologize was actually his idea. It wasn't that hard finding them either, apparently some of Sougo's 'followers' were bringing him flowers for… well, he has no idea why and he bought a handful of them from one of those crazy idiots. He thought that since he had apparently not shown any care to this girl, he would try this way.

Because if he couldn't apologize directly to her then he would do the next best thing, apologize to her locker.

"How did you guys found her locker anyway?" Sougo asks Isao, ignoring his other best friend.

"Oh, it was easier than expected."

* * *

Isao rolled on the floor, hiding behind the furniture and using books to cover his face, almost going at the speed of light from one corner of the room to the other… in his mind.

Toshiro blinks, once, twice, thrice. "…What are you doing."

"Have you ever seen how they do it in the movies? This is how you do it!"

"That doesn't work in real life."

"How do you know tha-AAH!"

It seems Isao had not foreseen the dangers of pretending to be in an action movie.

"Because rolling into a desk pretending to be a ninja only to fall off of it and getting injured won't help us find what we came here for." Toshiro states calmly.

The old secretary sitting behind the desk, who saw everything, lowers her glasses and nods. "Mmh-mmh.

Isao raises a trembling thumb up. "…Got it."

* * *

"We just had to ask for this girl's file at the registration office, the number of her locker was there. Apparently she went to one of Toshi's classes." Isao explains as he recalls the 'mission' of that morning.

"It's so easy to find information about our schoolmates… interesting." Sougo mumbles quietly to himself.

"I know, right? It's kinda scary ahah!"

"…Yeah. Scary…for us." Sougo tries to sound as convincing as he can, but after a few seconds he can't help but smirk. "Or for them."

"Did you say something?"

"Nope. Not at all."

"Okay."

They walk the distance from Toshiro's locker to the girl's one with only a few and minor setbacks because of Sougo, and stop only a few feet away.

Toshiro inhales not so quietly, giving himself a mental pep talk, but is pulled out of his thoughts when he feels a warm hand on his back. Isao is smiling encouragingly at him and even Sougo looks less sarcastic than usual.

"C'mon, you got this."

He nods at his best friends and walks the remaining distance to that locker, holding the bouqet of flowers in his hands and feeling his nerves building up inside of him.

"Kia." He begins quietly, a little unsure because he has never really done this kind of thing before.

It feels so strange, talking to a locker that belonged to someone who is not here anymore.

"…It's me, Toshiro." He says his name as if he is introducing himself to someone he is talking to, but to him there is no other way to do this. "Let me begin by saying that I don't remember hurting you. To say the truth I don't even remember meeting you, but it seems like I did something I shouldn't have and I… I feel really bad about that. I apologize for being such a shallow, self-centered asshole to you."

Isao shakes his head because even if this girl had written a letter to Toshiro berating him for the lack of consideration he still doesn't believe his best friend is a bad person.

Sougo nods his head because he believes that Toshiro is exactly like that.

"I will try my best to change and never repeat such a mistake again. Thank you for your letter. I…" He pauses, looking down remorsefully and finishes as quietly as he began. "…I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that I can never make it up to you in person."

When he raises his head he searches for his best friends, and finds them both smiling, showing that they are proud of him. Toshiro's mouth curves up a little at the edge as he smiles back. He has to admit to himself that after the apology and with the support of his best friends he does feel better. And in his heart he feels like, somehow, he has maybe managed to do something right.

That is until slow, rhythmic claps echo in the hallways all of a sudden.

"Look who has finally come to apologize."

Toshiro frowns, thinking that he has already heard that voice before. But he doesn't make the connection until the person speaking emerges from the shadows, almost as if they are in a movie and this scene is carrying out in slow motion.

"'Sup?" The person says and- no, this is not someone who is only familiar. This is actually-

"A hippie?"


	3. Chapter 3

"No, you idiot! It's me!" The guy points at himself and says his name. "Gintoki!"

Oh, so not a hippie then, it's Gintoki with the nice h- no, no nice hair! Just Gintoki!

"Gintoki…"

Toshiro stares at him for the longest time and Isao and Sougo can almost hear the wheels whirring in his brain as he narrows his eyes at the newcomer and looks at him warily, drawing the answer himself.

"…what are you doing here?"

Wrong, he did not understand a single thing.

Sougo deadpans. "Seriously? How can you be so slow? Even Isa-K here gets it."

"Hey!"

"What are you talking about?"

"What he's saying is-" Gintoki looks at him with an angry glint in his eyes, but there is smugness too. "Kia… is me."

Toshiro's confused expression morphs into a shocked one in only the span of a few seconds. The flowers fall from his hands, but he doesn't even notice. Everything he has learned in the past few hours comes rushing and crashing down and it feels like his emotions are punching each other in trying to prevail to the surface.

He doesn't know how to describe how he feels, but he knows that he is the one who wants to do the punching now.

" _Wait what?!"_

Surprisingly enough he isn't the only one to yell that, there is the guy with the afro that Sougo 'hippie-friended' before who is standing next to Gintoki and has the same reaction as him. Actually, there are two other guys too, one with short dark hair and the other has long straight hair.

Gintoki crosses his arms and regards him with an infuriatingly confident tilt of the head and matching smirk. "Took you a while to figure it, huh?"

"He has a slow brain." Sougo answers the rhetorical question anyway.

"Shut up Sougo! And you…" Toshiro takes a step towards him, glaring daggers. "Why did you do… _this?"_

Gintoki takes a step forward too, his glare is just as intense. "I had something of priceless value that belonged to me… and you took it."

Toshiro's mouth falls open at the unfounded accusations. "That's not true! I didn't take anything from you!"

"You did it! You just don't remember because of that problem you have, what's it called again? Oh, right, being an asshole!"

Sougo snorts and elbows Isao. "That was a good one."

Isao frowns at him. "Sougo… no."

"Wait, wait, wait, what exactly is happening here?" The guy with the afro, Tatsuma, asks.

"I'd like to know too." The one with long hair, Kotaro, adds.

"I really don't care." The one with short hair, Shinsuke, shrugs.

"I will tell you exactly what's happening here." Gintoki looks at his best friends in turn, then returns his heated gaze to the root of all his problems. "This guy right here took something that was really precious to me and never even considered giving it back!"

"I didn't take anything from you!" Toshiro defends himself. "Are you delusional or something?"

"No, I'm not!" Gintoki jabs his finger into his chest. "And you know it!"

"What am I supposed to know?!"

"That you took my pen and didn't return it, you dick!"

Everything stops.

In the defeaning silence even a pin falling down could be heard-

_tiiing_

"Ooops, sorry, I dropped a pin." Tatsuma waves an apologetic hand as he bends down to retrieve his pin and pockets it. "Ahahah, please continue."

They continue.

Toshiro stares at him like the guy suddenly grew two other heads.

"That's not a reason to come up with a fucked up plan to get revenge on me?!"

"Yes it is!"

"Are you… are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

"I had that pen since kindergarten! You didn't even care about it when you asked if you could borrow it and never even thought of returning it!"

"Ahah, I think Kintoki might have crossed the line a little…" Tatsuma laughs it off nervously, but finishes off in a serious mumble. "…or a lot."

"He likes being dramatic, it was only natural that someday he would go to such lengths just to get his point across." Shinsuke explains without even batting an eyelid.

Tatsuma and Kotaro stare at each other in surprise.

"Really?" Kotaro asks, more than a little taken aback.

Shinsuke shakes his head at them. "You guys should study some behavioral psychology, you would benefit from it."

Meanwhile Toshiro's anger is short of exploding and his thoughts are jumbling together. "So you did all of _this_ , coming up with a fake name and pretending to be that girl and writing that letter and-… just to _get back at me?"_

Gintoki's grin is just as angry. "You commit to what you believe in."

"That's messed up! You know that?! That's seriously messed up!"

"You're messed up!"

"Damn. I didn't even consider doing something like this myself." Sougo thinks out loud. And he is grinning. "Awesome."

Isao gapes at him in horror.

Kotaro clears his throat. "So, are we all just going to ignore the fact that he did this psycho experiment of sorts because he has a major crush on the guy?" He looks at everyone in turn, except for Gintoki, but no one seems to be paying him any attention. "Yes? Okay. Let's ignore this then."

"Wait, I have a question for you." Isao raises his hand as if waiting for his turn in class to talk. "…Why did you choose the name Kia?"

And out of all the questions that is the one he wants to ask, of course.

Toshiro raises his hands in the air and looks at him in a way that says 'are you serious right now?'

But Gintoki looks far too pleased to have to answer that, as if he was expecting it. The idiot. "I chose it because I combined the final syllable of my first name and the first one of my last. Smart, right?"

"Wait, your name is Gintoki Sakata right?" So wouldn't it have been… Kisa?" Sougo brings it up after thinking about it.

Gintoki is now the one thinking about it. "…Wait."

For some reason he starts counting under his breath and with his fingers. Then he slowly looks up at the group, having arrived at Sougo's same conclusion. "…Oh shit."

"Did you seriously mess up your name?" Kotaro asks surprised.

"Shut up!"

"Can't even hatch a revenge plan all on your own without making a small mistake." Shinsuke shakes his head in distaste. "You are a disappointment to all the evil revenge plan makers across the world."

Sougo nods. "I agree with S!ckDude here."

"Shut up with your nicknames Sougo!"

Toshiro pulls at his hair and kicks at one of the lockers as his annoyance keeps increasing. "You are unbelievable! I even felt _bad_ about it!"

"Oh really? For how long did you feel bad huh? Three hours?! I felt bad for two months without my pen! You suck!"

"No! Someone who puts a fake hate letter on someone else's locker and introduces himself while pretending a dead girl wrote that letter only because of a stupid pen sucks! That means you suck!"

Gintoki gasps. "How dare you!"

"I should be the one saying that you freak!"

"You're trying to blame me but this is all your fault! Who is so self-centered to the point of thinking the entire universe revolves around them!?"

In that particular moment Shinsuke sneezes. Coincidence?

"Bless you!" Toshiro and Gintoki yell at him, still engaged in their verbal fight.

Shinsuke shakes his head. "That was too aggressive to make me feel blessed."

"It's kind of funny." Kotaro mutters to himself.

"What is?" Shinsuke asks curiously.

"That you would sneeze in the same exact moment he said 'Who is so self-centered to the point of thinking the entire universe revolves around them.'"

He blinks, not understanding. "Why?"

Kotaro is a little more than unimpressed. "You are very oblivious to what happens around you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shinsuke suddenly turns to his left and looks confused. "Hey Tatsuma, what are you doing here?"

"Ahahah, I've been here all along!"

"Really?"

"…This is exactly what I mean." Kotaro mutters and decides to go back watching the verbal fight.

"There's something wrong with you!"

"Says the one who doesn't bother remembering he borrowed a pen!"

"Is that a crime?!"

"Say that to my aching heart! It's aching for my pen!"

"You want to fight?!"

"Yes! I want to fight! Let's fight!"

"What? You want to punch me?!"

"Hell yeah!"

"You wanna go?!"

"Let's go?!

"You wanna go out?!"

"Let's go out!"

"I'm paying!"

"No! I'm the one who's paying!"

"I'll pay for dinner then!"

"I'll pay for a new apartment!"

"I'll propose!"

"No! I'll propose!"

"I'll be pregnant!"

"No! I'll be pregnant!"

"I'll be the breadwinner at home!"

"So our children will only see me as a maid who doesn't get out of the house?! Tough luck you piece of shit I'll find a job too!"

"Then I'll take all of us to the greatest family vacations so they will see me as the cool dad!"

"How dare you try for the title of the cool dad! I'll be the cool dad!"

They continue using insults as a way to describe their hypothetical 'rest of our lives' for a while more, amidst the varying unimpressed gazes of their friends. Until they both scream a final question in each other's faces:

"You wanna kiss?!"

.

.

.

"So…" Kotaro is the one to speak up. "Anyone has a good enough explanation as to why those two are now furiously making out against the lockers?"

"…They're both psychos?" Sougo offers after only a second of thought.

They all nod.

"Yeah, that seems like reasonable explanation."

"Hey, do you want to join my brotherhood of hipsterhood?" Sougo finally asks Tatsuma what he had wanted to ask him since that morning.

Tatsuma freezes. The sound he lets out is inhuman. "There is literally… nothing… in the world… I would rather do right now!"

"Is Tatsuma crying?" Kotaro asks no one in particular. "Yes, yes he is crying."

"Sougooooo! Let me join tooooo!"

"That one is also crying."

"Hey." Shinsuke's arm brushes against his. "Do you want to get as far away as we can from these freaks?"

Kotaro smiles. "There is literally nothing in the world I would rather do right now."

* * *

_Later that evening at an 'impromptu apology dinner'_

"So. I guess I should say sorry for making you feel bad about… that." Gintoki rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

Toshiro glares at him from across the table. "You should."

But… Gintoki's eyes are too adorably cute and round and red to really be able to hold a grudge in that moment and he doesn't notice his own eyes softening.

"And I guess I… should apologize for not returning your pen… until now."

Gintoki grins. "You wanna hug it out?"

Toshiro rolls his eyes and scoffs… but nods. "Fine-"

Not even a second later he is practically being strangled in a crushing hold.

"Just for your information…" Gintoki whispers in his ear. "…you're sexy when you're mad."

Toshiro frowns. "You just ruined the moment."

"Do you want to jump into another moment and go make out in the bathroom?"

"…Do you even have to ask?"

* * *

"Uh, why are two young men furiously making out against a stall while simultaneously managing to insult each other?" A waiter asks his colleague after a short trip to the restrooms due to customers complaining. "I'm serious, it's kind of impressive."

Sougo, who had been there too for some reason, joins in on the conversation. "Those are my mates, T-Zone and Misunderstood G-Genius. Big dawgs doin' mother-nature's work, if you ask me."

The two waiters exchange a puzzled look. "…Hey kid, no offense but I didn't understand 90% of what you said."

"None taken, brother. Those dudes are part of my brotherhood hipsterhood frat. We have open conversations every Tuesday and Saturday where we 'open up' to each other about the meaning of life. And Sunday nights are for wild parties where we say 'to hell with the meaning of life.' Give me a beep if you wanna get in on the stream, dudebros." Sougo writes down his 'business' number on a napkin, then nods at them and makes the peace sign. The waiters are left to stare in awe at the boy dressed as a hippie skateboarding out of the restaurant.

"… I really don't know why, but that was literally the most inspirational thing someone has ever told me. I want to join."

"Me too, man. Me too."

.

.

.

It seems like two other big dawgs couldn't really get away from the other 'freaks' after all, since they are in the same restaurant.

"I can't believe he really did that." Kotaro still can't stop thinking about what happened during the afternoon.

"Who?" Shinsuke asks confused.

"Gintoki."

"…Who is Gintoki?"

Kotaro blinks at him once, twice, thrice. "You are so self-centered you forget about everyone else except for yourself. It's almost like you have amnesia."

Shinsuke raises an expectant eyebrow.

Kotaro smiles to himself and looks away almost shyly. "But it's still cute when you do that."

Shinsuke smirks confidently. "I know… what's your name again?"

* * *

_After-The-Credits-Ending-Scene_

"Hey S-Population, here's my quote of the day for all of you aching souls out there." Sougo clears his throat, ready to share with the world the quote of the day.

_"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."_

Sougo gets closer to the camera until his nose is pressed to it. "Bet that blew up your minds… in a gentle way." He whispers so close he fogs up the lens.

"Sougo stop filming yourself! It's creepy! No one wants to hear your stupid hippie quotes!"

"Chill, T-Zone. Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human too? I'm gonna marry her anyway."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?!"

Sougo makes the peace sign and runs away, barely holding up the camera while Toshiro is hot on his tail, but he still manages to say bye to his fans.

"Stay woke fam. Your boy Sable-Unstable is out. Peace and chill dudebros."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to remind you all that this is written very poorly because it's crack and I'm too tired to care.
> 
> I bet you didn't expect that twist either… or did you? Because if you did then my attempt at giving you a shock ending is as irrelevant as Zaki… kidding. (or am I?)
> 
> At first I thought about doing this with Gintoki finding the letter, but c'mon, even in a million different universes Toshiro would never go as far as doing something as messed up. He is too good for this world… and all the other parallel ones? Gintoki is too of course, he is just… a little more dramatic? At least in my head? Why am I writing everything as a question? I don't know? (but it is a little funny…)
> 
> I had fun writing Sougo here. If anyone wants to know his nicknames for Tatsuma and Zura they are T-Trippy and Zoombastic 
> 
> Okay I'm done for now with weird/silly stuff. Next I'm going to write/update very Silly/Fluffy romance-y lovely things with these two lovable idiots in it.
> 
> (The hippie names though... is it weird that I really like them?)
> 
> Peace and chill dudebros.


End file.
